covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
