i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
