He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
