that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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