if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
True strength comes from lack of pants
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