i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
