Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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