You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
