i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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