She's JV to your varsity
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We had to coat check the pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
