i just google imaged poop.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
