I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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