im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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