Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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