I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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