I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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