Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
