god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We left the knife in your bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
