Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
