Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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