You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
