I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
