i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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