There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
