You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
