Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
