Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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