What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
