I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
