There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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