He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
