my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
