we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
