I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
