We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
