you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
