Did you just see the Batmobile???
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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