Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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