Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
