you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
