Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
