Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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