He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's like iHOP with fire
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He shit in the fireplace
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
