omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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