You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
no, he came in my armpit
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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