I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
