Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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