there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
