She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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