no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
