All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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