Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
