Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
