dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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