I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
