She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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