a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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